Culture, Satires

Barter a Pardon if Trump Admits His Lies

I hate the idea of putting Trump on trial. What a nauseating vision of “democracy.” Not only does it look like a banana-republic show-trial – he’ll be found not-guilty by his Senate toadies.

Show trials have a long and hideous history, from Henry VIII to Robespierre to Stalin. Although our predecessors tended to find their targets guilty, it’s still rotten company.

I have an alternate proposal that will far more effectively end Trump’s political career while sparing us this ugly spectacle – barter a pardon for a public admission of his lies.

Here’s my idea.

We make a list of the Top Ten Trump Lies (decided by audience vote after a televised contest), and he agrees to read the document aloud, with no alteration or addenda, on Fox TV.

In return, Biden pardons Trump and his family for all high crimes, misdemeanors, felonies, and parking violations committed during his term in office.

My guess is that such an admission would destroy Trump as a political actor, far more than a show trial which won’t even find him guilty. And it would spare us the sure-to-be-abused precedent of putting the previous administration on trial.

Henry VIII – all of his show trials ended in convictions

Music, Satires, Video

Radio Free Nixon – new show!

Episode #5 of Radio Free Nixon – now on youtube – cultural mashups featuring Tricky Dick, Barbara Bush, Ronald Reagan, and of course the notorious Funky Nixons, plus cameos by Daffy Duck, the Marx Brothers, Max Fleischer, vintage corporate commercials, social courtesy training movies, and more!

First created as audio soundscapes for Berkeley Liberation Radio around 1999, DJ Milhous has pirated video footage to create a fully immersive audio-visual experience!

Episode #5 of Radio Free Nixon – just posted on youtube.

Hear all of the shows, plus links to the Funky Nixons’ songs:

DirectAction.org/nixon

activism, Satires

Antifa Behind January DC Protests?

Rumors continue to swirl that the January 6 DC riots, widely blamed on right-wing agitators, were actually the work of a huge contingent of undercover antifa agents.

An email from the Antifa Central Committee has surfaced, sent just days before the DC events.

The coded message ordered all white antifa men to immediately grow a long beard and report to DC, where they would be outfitted with backwards MAGA hats and authentic made-in-China American flags.

If asked their hometown, they were instructed to say slowly and not too clearly: “Bumminham, Alabayama.”

Culture, Music, Satires, Video

Radio Free Nixon – videos on youtube

Radio Free Nixon – Cultural Sound Collages

Radio Free Nixon sound collages were created for Berkeley Liberation Radio around 2000. Now we’ve gone all hi-tech and added video!

Watch shows on youtube! Show 03 | Show 04

Berkeley’s DJ Milhous pillaged American pop culture to create these sound-collages featuring the Funky Nixons’ music. Sound-bites from Groucho Marx, Richard Nixon, Monty Python, Shakespeare, the Wizard of Oz, Daffy Duck, vintage radio commercials, and dozens of others sources are spliced into a 20-minute radio show originally aired on Berkeley Liberation Radio. Now with video clips of the Stooges, Nixon, Keystone Cops…

Please pass these shows along! Play them really loud at parties. Play them on your own radio station. Call your friends and play them into their answering machines. Thanks!

Visit the Funky Nixons Page

Listen free on Youtube | Spotify

Culture, Satires

Adult Disposal Units?

I’ve been looking at pictures of buildings by the early-1900s architect Le Corbusier*, and was feeling strangely reminded of roach motels. You know – “Roaches check in – but they never check out!”

So what should come across my news feed but the latest iteration of Corbusian design – the ADU, which I think might mean “Autonomous Dwelling Unit.”

Only I couldn’t help thinking that it actually means “Adult Disposal Unit.”

You know, like “Old folks check in – but they never check out!”

Probably I’m wrong. But as a soon-to-be old person, I’m keeping a careful eye on this one.

*- here’s Le Corby’s original design for the roach motel – obviously the manufacturers cut a few corners, but they retained the spirit.

Satires

Who’s the Pinko in the Mask?

trump-crowd-nomasks

A rare inside look at the crowd at Trump’s acceptance speech, August 2020.

Naturally it’s almost entirely old white people. You’d almost think that everything is normal – except for that one young anarchist in a mask. Clearly an Antifa plant!

Lest anyone worry that this close-knit crowd might spread covid to the rest of us, relax – I’m pretty sure all of these people are quarantining at the White House for the next 14 days.

LA Times report – click here

Photo – Saul Loeb/AFP/Getty Images

Satires

Mount Trumpmore: All Trump All the Time

Trump-Rushmore

Trump’s minions chatter about adding DT to Rushmore as the fifth phizzog.

But if re-elected, no way he’ll share the stage with pikers like Washington and Lincoln. He’ll have them scoured off and devote the famed cliff to four versions of himself.

Early sketches show none of the versions wearing a mask. However, three of the four will be fondling a cellphone.

Photo: LA Times

Culture, Satires

I’ve Been Ingesting Chlorine

Sodium chloride (rock salt, halite, table salt), crystal structu

I admit it – I’ve been ingesting chlorine. On a daily basis. So far, there are no ill effects except I’m often thirsty.

I’ve heard from many people, some of whom are actually on TV, that chlorine is good for you, so I decided to double my intake during shelter-in-place.

According to what I hear, it isn’t just good for curing pandemics. It may actually turn out to be an essential health supplement!

Cashews vs Popcorn: Crumbs in the Mask

My favorite ingestion system is potato chips and popcorn. But lately cashews have hit the spot – protein and chlorine at the same time. Plus fewer crumbs in my mask.

It’s gotten to where I’ve found myself adding chlorine to vegetables, boiled potatoes, even a dash in my oatmeal. Yum!

Really, once you get the taste for it, everything tastes better with chlorine! Luckily, it’s cheap and easily accessible.

You can buy crystalized chlorine here

Make Your Own Chlorine Crystals!

Or make your own edible chlorine crystals by adding 39.34 grams of sodium (Na) to 60.66 gram of chlorine (Cl). Shake, don’t stir. Let stand for a few minutes – and voila! Ingestible chlorine!

Illustration: Sodium Chloride – the miracle molecule.