Culture, Satires

Launch Elon & Bezos Now!

I’m launching an Anarchist-A-Go-Go campaign to send Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk into space. One way.

It’s a win-win. Musk, as he has made sure we know, is devoting his prodigious hucksterist skills to lining his pockets by putting rich people, including himself, into orbit. And Bezos, that renowned tree-hugger, is close behind. Here’s his motto, from the BlueOrigin website: “Earth, in all its beauty, is just our starting place.”

Can you imagine a better slogan for cosmic imperialism? Teddy Roosevelt, eat your heart out!

Bezos, who got rich selling stuff, and Musk, whose sold us on Paypal, have allegedly made the world a better place – for capitalism, if not for humans. Probably they deserve our undying gratitude.

But I don’t anticipate any further social contributions of this magnitude. I think we can let them go. In fact, let’s give them a gentle assist.

It’s easy – take all of the money you were going to spend on Amazon or invest in Elon’s company and send it to my campaign instead! Any surplus funds will be used to send Trump and Giuliani along afterward.

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