Culture, Satires

Barter a Pardon if Trump Admits His Lies

I hate the idea of putting Trump on trial. What a nauseating vision of “democracy.” Not only does it look like a banana-republic show-trial – he’ll be found not-guilty by his Senate toadies.

Show trials have a long and hideous history, from Henry VIII to Robespierre to Stalin. Although our predecessors tended to find their targets guilty, it’s still rotten company.

I have an alternate proposal that will far more effectively end Trump’s political career while sparing us this ugly spectacle – barter a pardon for a public admission of his lies.

Here’s my idea.

We make a list of the Top Ten Trump Lies (decided by audience vote after a televised contest), and he agrees to read the document aloud, with no alteration or addenda, on Fox TV.

In return, Biden pardons Trump and his family for all high crimes, misdemeanors, felonies, and parking violations committed during his term in office.

My guess is that such an admission would destroy Trump as a political actor, far more than a show trial which won’t even find him guilty. And it would spare us the sure-to-be-abused precedent of putting the previous administration on trial.

Henry VIII – all of his show trials ended in convictions