Culture, Satires

Eat4U – New Restaurant Sensation!

Move to San Francisco to be near all of the great restaurants, and never have time to dine out?

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Tired of eating GrubHub’s warmed over versions of yesterday’s leftovers?

Too lazy to order Hello Plastic and cook a shrink-wrapped meal for yourself?

You need Eat 4 U!

Eat 4 U – the amazing new restaurant service that let’s you, the customer, take charge of dining out!

You choose the restaurant. You choose the menu items. You even choose the table!

Then relax and get back to making money while Eat 4 U handles the dirty work.

Yes, our trained gastro-acquisitional experts will travel to the restaurant of your choice, order the items you selected, eat them, and send you a text message with a delectable report and mouth-watering photos that you can instantly post to social media.

Choose from hundreds of restaurants and thousands of dishes. Mix and match to your heart’s delight. For a small surcharge we will even complain to management about the spices and/or the freshness of the ingredients.

Never again will you be humiliated as your friends share their latest culinary discoveries while you pick over lukewarm carry-out. And you’ll have the last laugh, knowing you will be able to keep working while Eat 4 U does the dining!

Act now – our experts are standing by!